Out of the Pit of Misery
If you Google “the pit of misery”, Urban dictionary defines it as “the dungeon of terror when you don’t bring bud light to a party”.
“I did not bring bud light to the party so I was sentenced to the pit of misery.”
That Bud Light commercial is probably one of my absolute favorites and it’s become a huge pop-culture phenomenon, and not to mention an extremely popular meme. The pit of misery is more than just a meme to me though. The year 2017 was my own personal pit of misery (minus the beer unfortunately).
Looking back on 2017, it was probably my craziest year yet. A whirl-wind of pain, growth, shock, heartache, decisions, happiness, loss and gains, and thousands of memories all in one. I’m not even sure how that is all possible but it seemed like a rollercoaster of events, taking me on the most stressful ride full of unknowns. On the first day of 2018, I felt completely lost with no sense of direction and it made me ache so much.
See, I’m a type A kind of person, so I like to plan out my life and I love the feeling of a sense of security, and that was all gone. I felt like I was at the end of the road staring into a pitch-black future. If I looked back, it was only painted with sadness, regret, pain, and faint memories of who I was before the year of 2017. I was confident that I did not want to be that person again.
Where am I heading?
Facing the end of college also doesn’t help me either, because the questions plus endless advice just piled up. “Do you have a job”, “where will you move to”, “what are you doing with your life”, etc. The last semester of college really makes you think hard about life. Who am I? What am I doing with my life? Am I proud of who I am? So many real decisions have to be made, and soon all of those college parties, the drama, and the shallow people in your life soon won’t matter. Those who never left you at your lowest point and those who love you for you, are the ones who matter. At the end of our time, what matters most is how we used our love within our life time.
On January 1st, I spent time looking back on 2017. Taking in the highs and lows that God had tossed my way. I tried to make something positive come out of it. I felt like I had fallen into some kind of pit of misery of my own, wondering what my values were and why I went through what I went through. Everyone has their own battles, their own kind of pit of misery. Instead of indulging Bud Light, it’s just own own kind of pain and darkness. I felt like I was completely stuck in this unhealthy cycle of being thrown into this pit. This was due to poor decisions I made, principles I didn’t stand up for. All because I lost the voice of God that I used to hear. I couldn’t even hear a whisper.
Hey things are okay…right?
When life is “good”, as in when my small, somewhat significant college life feels put together, I didn’t think I needed God. His voice started to become fainter over time. Then it was gone. I had put off caring about things that mattered. This included the people who invested in me, taking care of my soul and well-being, and I stopped trying to grow into someone people would be proud of. I was faking happiness, because happiness is just a fleeting feeling. Any contentment of my life was non-existant.
So, there I was, the beginning of my not-so-fabulous New Year, realizing I was stuck in this pit, feeling lost. I felt shallow, conceited, and as though I completely forgot who I truly was. All I could think to myself was that there was no way I was getting out of this, and away from all of this pain. But man, was I so wrong.
Facing change, pain, and sadness in life is one guarantee we have. The one thing that never changes is the One who made us in His own image, and wow that’s the best promise we can be given.
“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” – Hebrews 13:8
I know I’m not worthy of God’s love, of His infinite second chances, or for Him to pull me out of this pit, but God is a God of love, mercy, and grace. None of us are good enough for it, but He still loves us no matter what we do. And God has a better plan for us, and He wants to save us from the pits of misery we all face. He wants to save us, rescue us, love us, and give us so many blessings. We just need to have a little faith in our big God.
“but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” – Isaiah 40:31
So, I decided to have some faith…
…and to throw myself completely into His love and grace. So slowly, yet delicately, He has started to pull me out of this pit. He has shown me what’s most important in my life. It isn’t what I look like, my athletic career, or my GPA. Instead it’s my relationship with Him, and those that I love around me. Every day He pursues me, and He helps me pursue those I love unconditionally. Now, I wake up feeling more grateful, with a heart full of pure intentions to love my people. To live my life full of purpose.
Life is too short to care so much about being perfect, about being right, being full of doubt and regret. It’s too short to be someone else, to walk away from those who love you. It’s definitely too short to be in the pit of misery without God. Let God help you come out of your own pit of misery. Live a life full of purpose, forgiveness, and blessing.