Having a job, sport, opportunity, or relationship taken away from you is extremely undesirable. Finding yourself in a place you never expected isn’t easy to take in. You find yourself having to change directions a bit because the path you planned on taking has ended. Even though we all know life almost never goes according to the plans WE make, we still dream and plan anyways, not taking the time to consider any roadblocks that might come up. And yes, when those roadblocks happen or those plans crash and burn with our daydreams, we are shocked. That’s life. Unpredictable. Unfair.
I’m not saying you can’t take time to mourn the loss of what happened to you, because you should. It is natural and human to be upset over challenging and surprising circumstances. However I am saying that you can’t upset forever. It isn’t worth it because life keeps happening. Opportunities and relationships are endless if you change your thinking a bit. Changing directions in life could be a silver lining and positive. It certainly doesn’t seem to be like that at the time, and I know that. As I face surgery I have realized a handful of things that have been really helpful in this dark time for me.
It will really be okay.
It’s okay to not be okay, but at the end of the journey it usually ends up working out. I do know that everyone finds themselves in a difficult situation and you don’t think it will turn out okay or that you will be okay. Sometimes the tough times mold who we are and make us stronger. “Tough times don’t last but the tough people do” is so correct. You are certainly stronger than your biggest battle and the pain.
You aren’t alone.
No matter how alone you feel (and I know, I felt extremely alone multiple times), you aren’t alone. I speak from personal experience that more people care about you than you really know. As I approach surgery I have had more support from my friends, family, and people I don’t even know and it’s incredible. People will be there for you if you let them. So you are never alone. More people have your back than you may ever know and there are future relationships and friendships out there that will one day change your life.
Tough times end.
Like I said, the tough times end. It may take days, weeks, or maybe years for you to come to an understanding of what may have happened, but they DO end. Silver linings don’t come to everyone, it may take time. Don’t give up though. Keep going every day and endure any challenge you may face. You will be happy that you did when you look back.
There are some positives, and you should seek and accept them.
I didn’t want to believe that any positives would come my way with a major double knee-alignment surgery. I can’t walk without crutches for weeks and there have been a handful of other challenges thrown my way. However, I do get to spend more time doing things I enjoy doing, like cooking and reading. I can focus on school and my internship more. I know that every day will not be this positive and that I will miss competing, and hate the fact I can’t work out. However, if I accept these positives and find the bright side, it will make a lot of the days easier. Don’t be afraid to see the good things in every season of life.
Time goes by really, really fast.
I remember when I was 13 when my grandfather passed away. It hurt like hell and I was upset for so long. I would ask God why the heck he let my grandfather pass away from brain cancer. He was only in his mid 60’s when he passed and it hurt our family a lot. He was the one we all looked up to and loved. It’s been over 7 years since he passed and I can’t believe how much has changed and happened since then. The older you get, the more that time flies by in front of you. Days seem long during hard parts of life, but when you look back, it goes by so fast.
I get how challenging life is and that it isn’t easy to think positively when you feel like you’re drowning. It took me months to look at any good things that could potentially come my way, but once I did, I started to cope with life better and I felt happier. Changing directions in life isn’t what we always want but maybe it’s what we need or something good comes from it. My grandfather had an incredible impact on our family and my grandmother has happily remarried to a great guy who has changed who she is. And at the end of my surgery I will have better knees and a better life. It isn’t easy, but a part of me is looking forward to changing directions so I can see what else life has to offer.